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I Am a Female Nerd. Apparently.

  Marianne Cassidy thinks being a female nerd is trendy. Except when that’s all guys see in her. I am a female nerd. Apparently. I cannot tell you when it became trendy to be a nerd, but it definitely...

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A Ruined Body Is A Poem

Julie Gillis, on lust, bodies, aging and kindness. My ankles hurt each morning when I rise out of bed. I’ve been running more and more, perhaps in an attempt to stave off age, so that I can keep...

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He Has A Gun

Jeremy Adam Smith’s son asked, “Did they get the bad guys?” Turns out, that was a really difficult question to answer. —   1. This summer, we moved back to San Francisco’s Mission district after a...

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Why Was My Voice So Small?

An 8-year-old child of divorce, Thom wanted approval from his Scoutmaster. Instead, he was preyed on. Fifty years later, the effects of the abuse still loom large. In the world of little boys, the...

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Being Guided By Our Babies Onto the Hidden Paths of Confidence

Our children have powerful ways to nurture our strength. Recently Matthew Salesses posted a beautiful article titled the Nature of Time and Babies. Matthew talked about the powerful impact our babies’...

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‘All I See Are White Men’: Confronting Racism in Silicon Valley

Eric Ries wants to talk about racism in the start-up world—without hand-wringing and with an eye towards achievable solutions. Originally posted as “Racism and Meritocracy” on TechCrunch. ♦◊♦ Unless...

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Finding Julian

Andrew Cotto loses his son in a museum—and finds a new approach to being a good dad. — Upon hearing that our second child would be a boy, I walked out of the doctor’s office, crossed 8th Avenue, and...

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Eat Like a (Good) Man

A big part of being a Good Man in this weird, wild century involves not eating like an asshole. For me, there are two reasons for this: 1) Taking care of my body so I can stick around and pester my...

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Mission Soccer

For the varsity soccer players at one San Francisco school, their team is their family, and futbol might be their only ticket to college. Jordan Conn shadowed the team last fall, as they defended...

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The First Myth of Patriarchy: The Acorn on the Pillow

Tad Hargrave explains how patriarchy and masculinity are not the same thing, and privilege is not good for anyone. — I want you to imagine an acorn. We will come back to it soon. Because we are...

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Fatherhood. By Any Means. Necessary.

Dad and oft-times contributor to The Good Men Project Jim Mitchem shared this video on Facebook. The last word of his status update says it all:   In fact, we dare you to listen to the last line of...

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The Pain of Being Poor: Masculinity and Manhood in a Recession

Yolo Akili brings us a reflective essay about unemployment and barber shop culture in black communities. —– I saw the pain in their eyes when I sat in the barbershop. The conversation was about money....

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You Do the Math

RSVP for Intersectionality Calls —- I answered the phone, and it was among the worst kind of news you can get. “Are you the family of Joy Hickey?” “Yes.” She was my mother-in-law. “I’m sorry to be...

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Love Conquers All—Except, Maybe, the Bottle

Mika Doyle’s first love taught her that love is not enough to sustain a relationship. It was when I was 22 years old that I realized love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. It wasn’t that I...

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Dreams and Visions: On Being a Man After 3 Miscarriages in 20 Months

Dave Sanfacon remains a father and a husband through the agonizing nightmare and another attempt at kids. This is the second essay of a series. Dave’s first essay: “The Happy Hour Miscarriage in...

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A Passionate Rant About Oliver

Renee Suzanne Cole will do whatever it takes to give her children the opportunities they deserve. The photo above is my son, Oliver, a few hours after he was born and a few hours before he extubated...

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My Dad, the UFO Expert

Fourth grade isn’t exactly a walk in the park, but for Evan Jacobs, having a dad who knew a lot about space aliens was the ticket to social acceptance. It’s been mostly downhill from there. ♦♦♦ My...

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When Playboy Bunnies Ruled

At 17, most girls are filling out college applications. I was nervously chewing my fingernails at an audition to become a Bunny at the New York Playboy Club. I had become the first emancipated minor...

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Bad Dad

When Michael FitzGerald lost his job, he didn’t tell his kids. But they knew something was fishy. The other software developer and I followed the HR woman in and sat down. Our boss was behind his...

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Chasing Beauty: An Addict’s Memoir

 Lisa Hickey was beautiful twice, and she hated herself for it. — Here we go again, I think, as I impatiently wait for the hair straighter to warm up. I’ve washed my hair, deep conditioned it, shaved...

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